Dating a previous drug addict, making it work
It also goes the other way.
I'm grown enough to know how to prioritize my life, so it's not a likely situation. Now obviously if you partner keeps using their addiction as a crutch to get through life, move on. Like any romantic relationship, dating a recovering addict can have its challenges.
If the answer is less than one year, give them time to get grounded in their recovery before embarking on a romantic relationship. I fell into it about the same time in my life that most people on here were falling into their starter-marriages. Then again it's kind of silly for me to put so much thought into the reasoning of someone who thinks that casually using drugs is some kind of virtue.
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The question is -why are we attracted to such unfortunates. Must be nice to be you and have so few foibles with which to deal. My sister kept this a secret for over a year, it was a big deal for her to dating a previous drug addict me. He'd already dropped down though methadone, then subutex, and was taking dihydro codeine when we got together. Especially since I have a small child.
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For anyone considering dating an active addict, it is important to realize that love cannot conquer addiction. Someone with less than a year sober should stay focused on their recovery program, not dating. I wrestled for awhile with the idea of dating him, but finally called instead.
Most of them relapsed and it wasn't pretty. No misogyny, misandry, transphobia, ageism, racism, general assholery, invalidation, or otherwise hateful or disrespectful commentary.
Once they are drawn back over the line, it requires professional level intervention, medication, and a lot of love and support to help them.
If someone in recovery is asking you out or making other kinds of advances at an earlier stage of their rehabilitation, it means they are ignoring the recommendations of their counselors, and this is not a positive harbinger of things to come. My parents know about his struggles and honestly, they have more respect for him now that they know because they can see all the ways he turned around his life. Some dozens of times.
I broke promises to my beloved grandfather. No specifying majority demographics or excluding minority groups based on demographics. It's ridiculous but people who insist on weird shit like that probably have issues of their own going on.
Decades of scientific research have shown that addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disease, similar in many ways to heart disease or diabetes, which requires lifelong care. You have both made questionable choices or have done hurtful things at some point, so there is a mutual understanding that mistakes happen, and they don't mark the end of the world. Ever hear the saying, "Replace one habit with another"? There are varying degrees of most every ailment that plagues man or womankind - addiction being only one of them.
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I guess I don't care that much about the past, just that the past is truly the past, and that this person has a fulfilling present and are ready to share it.
For me personally, going out for drinks on occasion is still a big part of my social life. If he had been dating a previous drug addict and stable for several years, but I would be very relucant.
Their bond with drugs will be stronger than their bond with you, because drugs are easier. I ended up marrying a former heroin addict. Thinking addicts are blameless and "can't help it" makes zero fucking sense. I think the commitment to recovery is what really makes a difference.
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